Chris and I are finally (sort of) up-and-running in Perkasie. We’ve still got a ways to go until we’re fully moved in, but it feels great to be there.
Yesterday I got the chance to spend the whole day at home…organizing stuff, getting my home office set up, and just being in our new house. After Chris left for work, I decided to take a walk…I mean, we’re just a couple of blocks from about 5 miles of walking trails. It felt good to walk…and I walked for a hour or so, just taking in the creek that runs alongside the walking trail, the sounds of the birds, and the quiet of the place. It’s been a while since I’ve had that kind of day…and it felt like that joy that Dionysus always reminds me not to forget, was creeping back into my everyday.
Today I decided to come into work…as part of easing myself back into the swing of things. With all the work I’ve been doing on our old house and moving to the new one, I’ve had a rather good break from happenings on campus…while at the same time, I’ve been thinking a lot about my own writing and teaching. Kind of nice. Having that little break has been good in so many reasons. I mean, it’s so easy to let this place suck you in…there is so much to do, so many things that can be made better, or need to be done that you get worn out. Especially this past couple of years with contract negotiations and a series of really hard things to deal with on campus and with colleagues.
There are times when I wish I was one of those people that could just come in, teach my classes, do my office hours, and then go home to read and write. However, a long time ago I accepted the fact that I am not that kind of person, nor will I ever be. I could go into a long list of reasons why that’s the case…but suffice it to say it has to do with my ethical make up. I am not just talking about abstract principles…I mean the kind of ethical “coding” that becomes woven into our tissue after years and years of growth. What it comes down to is that when I see something that is “wrong” I think the only ethical thing to do is to make it right. It’s not always easy, or convenient, or popular…but it’s right.
Don’t get me wrong…I’m not saying I’m a saint or anything. But I try to do the right thing. I think that’s ultimately why I got involved with politics and activism at such a young age. “Injustice” became married to “wrong” in my world view early on. And…it always seemed to me that the worst kind of “sin” was when someone/some institution knew something was wrong, had the power to make it right, and then did virtually nothing because they were worried about repercussions, or how it would look, or a potential law suit. To do nothing under such conditions was an act of shameful cowardice.
What’s even worse is when you begin to follow the line of argument or justifications people and institutions make when asked to give an account of their (lack of) actions. We then find ourselves in a world of “it’s a difficult issue,” “what you don’t seem to understand is,” “it’s not that easy,” etc. Anything to muddy the ethical waters. It’s standard rhetorical practice for dominant politics…to attempt to introduce “complexity” or “difficulty” or “doubt” into an audience as a means to avoid accountability.
And maybe I’m even more sensitive to this as a rhetorician…I mean, we spend a good deal of time in the muddy waters of ethics. BUT…ethical rhetoricians DO NOT seek to avoid accountability. Further, we swim in complexity–in the gray areas–without casting off our ethical burdens. Put another way, complexity is not an excuse of making unethical decisions…good ethical decisions, arguments, choices take account of all the complexities…and still decide, argue, and choose ethically.
I know I’m rambling here…but I just need to get some of this out. My institution had the knowledge, power, and capability to do a right and just thing…then chose not to. Best I can tell it had more to do with technicalities, convenience, and fear than with what was right. It boggles my mind.
I need to get back to that walking path and conjure up my pal Dionysus for a chat…
project. We will have to slowly reverse that assembly line model of how writing/literacy is articulated as well as slowly introduce our robot army into the department and university. In a perfect world, we could have created an HQ that called to mind 